A Kind Word Goes A Long Way

Well, here I am, on day one of my staycation.  I know, it’s not a real word; but it is in my world.  I am prepping for my only Christmas Craft Show this year, Christmas In The Dobie; I am going to be working on my blogging and I will be working on this site as well.  I have joined a couple of writing groups, in the hope of fulfilling one of my dreams to write a fantasy trilogy.  I am now trying to get serious about this writing thing.  Having this week off to work on projects that matter to me is going to be very motivational when I have to get back to work in a week’s time.

I have just started here.  I have gotten feedback and help from strangers.  That is something I have to say is great.  I am a pantser which refers to me flying by the seat of my pants, not a plotter that plans things out and works in a structured format.  Both styles are successful, if applied properly.  So I am here, blogging, from the seat of my pants, and hoping to have others come along for the ride.

The feedback was constructive.  I am working with advice from someone in another country, and she is showing me how to make this site more user friendly, and to attract more followers.  In the land of blogging, this is what it’s all about.  More hits, more followers, and more opportunities in the land of the internet and beyond.

The comment was very kind.  Having a stranger take the time to read what I have written and quote a part of it in the comment was really cool.  It gives me the courage to keep going.

It doesn’t only apply to the blog.  I have been working at getting healthier too.  When someone notices, and it is real, by that I mean I am losing weight, it feels wonderful.  When someone says that I look like I am losing weight and I am not,  I don’t feel good about the compliment.  So it depends on me sometimes to be in the frame of mind to accept a compliment in the way it is intended.  It is hard to not feel bad inside when it isn’t a real one, no matter how the intended comment was given.  We have all had them, those compliments that people give because they are trying to say something nice and it backfires because it isn’t true.  Until this year, I have never really felt like I had earned any compliments about losing weight.  Because it wasn’t true, not since I went through Weight Watchers with my mom in grade 11&12.

Here’s the thing, though.  Those comments aren’t being said to hurt me.  They are telling me that I am looking better, whether it is about the weight or not.  Maybe the clothes are fitting better because my body has changed since the last time I wore that outfit.  Maybe I am happy and as an emotional girl, that shows, and that is what the person is seeing.  Whatever is said, it is being said to encourage me to keep trying, and that is what I have to focus on.

It has taken me a LONG time to realize this.  I have never been good at taking compliments to begin with, and I think it is because I don’t always feel like I have earned them.  That boils down to me being way too hard on myself.  It is the way I am.  I don’t know how to be any other way.

So, I am trying to learn.  It is not easy to change how I react to what people say.  Taking the meaning behind the words is how I will be able to grow as a person, and thrive on the positivity.  I have to filter out the feelings and run with the good stuff.  I am getting better at this.  It is something I have to consciously work at, though.  Everybody isn’t out to get me or be mean.  Some people are.  I am going to encounter negative comments and feedback also.  It will happen.  But that is a different struggle.  Those have to be released into a black hole somewhere in outer space,  as far away from my heart as I can get them.  Otherwise they will drag me down, and that isn’t where I want to live my life.

When I do something creative, like design a new pattern for earrings that is mine from concept to finished product, I feel genuinely accomplished.  Proud of what I made, because it is my work, with my own pattern.  When I get on the scale, and I don’t want a hammer because it is showing that my hard work is paying off, I shout out loud for everyone to hear, and then if someone says something nice, it does what it is supposed to.  It makes me feel good.

Words matter.  Choose yours carefully, and make the world a better place because of them.  If you can help someone today by being kind, please do.  It might be the only good thing that person hears all day, or even all week.  It is nice to have something good to remember that tells you to keep going, and that you matter.  We all do.  If your words come from your heart and are meant to be nice, then go for it.  It’s the thought that counts, and for some people, it will mean more than you will ever know.

christmas-in-the-dobie-2016

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