Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 18

Tomorrow.  Monday. The first day of the month.  We have all been there, and we have all promised ourselves that we will do better, but not now.  It is hard when you are addicted to food and addicted to sugar.  It is impossibly hard when you are too lazy to find the way to a healthier lifestyle.  I have written it before, and I will likely write these words again, it is easy to be lazy.

I am told quite frequently that I am too hard on myself.  I have come to accept that quality as something I am.  The truth is, I don’t know how to be any other way.  In my dabblings along the curvy path I am walking beside, around and sometimes hanging upside down from a tree on,  sometimes I cut myself way too much slack.  There is no middle ground when it comes to me and some things.  Some things being food.

I am finding it really hard to stick to staying on plan.  I know, it works.  I know I feel better when I do follow the plan.  I know it is the best thing for me to do.  Yet here I am again, thinking that tomorrow is a new day, for a fresh start.

What is a person supposed to do when this happens?  It is like I am on the side of a mountain in the middle of a mudslide, and in MY world, it is hailing Swedish berries, and all the mud is chocolate mixed with hot fudge, of course.  It is a struggle for most people to eat healthy most of the time.  I find if I give myself a little slack, I tend to give a little more, and a little more, until there is no more slack left, and I am way off track and possibly lost.

I am watching my body change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst.  I keep a close eye on my gut, and it does fluctuate, frequently.  I have also noticed that when I do put in the effort to work on me, I am starting to see the shape of the oblique muscles cause dents in my stomach.  I see them, so they are in there, somewhere.  Underneath the curves and fluff.

My chin causes me great concern.  I know what makes it look like that, and I know what fixes it.  You might think that is a little weird or eccentric, but it is true.  If I make GGMS, it gets smaller.  If I hit up chocolate a lot, it collects in my chin.  I kid you not.  I am wearing the chocolates I bought last Christmas in there right now.  I am positive that is what did it.

I did some sweeping and mopping this past week. We were expecting company.  I had a tight, sore back for two days after that.  I didn’t like it, but I didn’t pull anything, and I was able to do most things without any change.  Bending over was horrendous.  The good news is that I feel better now.  The bad news is that I am not convinced that cleaning my floors is good for my health.  They don’t clean themselves, though.

I need to work more at being on plan.  I know this.  It is hard to convince the monster that it doesn’t belong here anymore.  It wants me to dive into the mudslide of chocolate and never come up for air.  Or find a really big straw.

I just spent 2 hours taking the meat from the chicken I cooked.  It was a really big chicken.  I will be making that chicken chili tomorrow.  Or tonight, if I find a second wind.  Either way, the prep work is done, now I just assemble in the pot, and cook it.  That is the thing, though.  It is easy to say I am going to do something, but the prep time is never less than 10 minutes for me.  So that is why I go the easy way sometimes.  Because I take the time to do everything right, and sometimes it takes too long in real life to do what I want to do.  This is another trap down a slippery slope of marshmallow strawberries.  Can you tell I am having a hard time with sugar cravings this week?  I have my favourites, and sometimes I have to give in a little before it becomes a big mistake.

Goals for the upcoming week?  Find out if Ginger Juice by The Ginger People is available locally, or if I have to order it online.  I am using frozen ginger cubes in my GGMS now, but I would like to add the juice if I can find it.  I am wondering if I will like it better than the frozen cubes.  I found the powder too gritty, and want to make the GGMS the best I can.  I already know I LOVE it with Black Cherry Berry Tea by Celestial Seasonings.  So good!  I make the basic recipe and add the tea bags to steep, and drink over ice.  Not early in the day, I would run all day long.  I also need to make the Shrinker.  Another tea drink, made with oolong tea.  The recipes can be found here and I have tried most of the recipes on this page.  Good Girl Moonshine and The Shrinker are the two I am referring to in this story.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to make healthy food to eat.  One day at a time.  Listen to the voice of your inner beauty, and let it help you shine!

#TrustYourGutThursday #TYGT

Weekend Warrior # 17

weekend-warrior

Weekend Warrior

Egads! I am up REALLY early on a Saturday morning.  There must be a reason.  Oh yes, there is.  A friend wanted to go Yard Sale Shopping today.  It is a bit rainy, so we may not do a lot of that, but we have errands, and he doesn’t have a car.  I am trying to make more time for my friends, as they are important in my life.

As soon as we are done, Operation Spring Cleaning is going to be completed.  I am expecting guests this month, starting tomorrow!  I will still have some to do, but today will be the day for the final push.  I need to be ready.  My parents are coming, and I have not seen them in two years.  I am over the moon excited to see them.

I have a plan.  I thought it up when I was supposed to be sleeping last night.  I will start in the guest room, then the bathrooms.  After that, the floors will need cleaning.  All of that will take time, and I hope I have more time when I finish all of the chores I have for today.

My Makeup Blog story is in the draft phase.  In the next 2 weeks, I plan to publish it.  I know it has been taking a really long time for this, but I am writing it without pictures.  When I have everything organized after cleaning the Master bedroom,  I will then have a place for all of my new makeup, and then I can try it out.  See, I DO have a plan, and I have been buying bits and pieces of organization supplies along the way.  Maybe today I will find something to help with that.

I wanted to write this early this weekend so I can focus on what I need to do.  I am taking on this weekend with a full, running start, and fueling myself with coffee.  Lots of coffee.

I hope you are all having a productive, fun-filled, happy weekend!  I am going to give it my all, and then some.  What are you doing this weekend?  What do you do to prepare for guests that visit?  Let me know!  Maybe I can learn something new!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 17

You know when you want to eat something, and you know what you should eat and you know what you want to eat and you get the easier thing because it is easier and you already are so hungry that you don’t want to spend the extra ten minutes making the better thing to eat because you are hungry right now?  I feel like that a lot.  This has been another week of grab the easy thing because I don’t have enough food prep cooked, even though I cooked a chicken in my slow cooker the night before last.

Tonight I will make something.  I am thinking about making THM Wicked White Chili.  I have made this once before, with a few small adjustments, and it was really great!  So if I can get it in a pot before I go to bed, and get it in some mason jars in the fridge so it is ready to grab in the morning for my lunch, I will be on my way to being back on track, with minimal effort.  That is something I can totally get up and do.

After supper.  I have an errand to run, and that means I leave the house.  One of the best tips I have for living on a budget is to not leave the house.  The second I do, I know I am going to spend money.  I have done a lot of that over the last 20 years.  It is finally starting to pay off and add up.  Yes, I still have a budget, and yes, I am still working on it, but we have a little more breathing room at the moment.  So I don’t have to stay at home ALL OF THE TIME anymore.

If I don’t manage to make the chili tonight, I will prep some of the chicken for sandwiches tomorrow.  Or to go with my spinach in a salad.  I have some blue cheese dressing that is great with spinach.  Cucumber and tomatoes, green onion, and there is my salad.  I think that is what I will end up doing.  I have been known to eat the mini cucumber “straight up” like I picked it fresh from the garden.  I also have taken a knife to work to prep my salad during my lunch break, right before eating it.  I always have people looking at my lunches, especially my homemade leftover lunches.  I am not a PB & J kind of a lunch packer.  I like having food prepped to eat and ready to grab on my way out the door in the mornings.  It can be something I made for the whole week as I don’t always share my lunch with my husband.

The whole point of getting the chicken and popping it in the crock pot was to have the meat ready to go.  And it is in the fridge, still in the crock pot.  That is as far as I got.  I have been making excuses lately for not prep cooking, and I am going to have to stop doing that.  Yes,  it is easier to go get fast food.  But I have to keep reminding myself that I really enjoyed that chili the last time I made it, and I know it will be really good.  I made the chicken, so now I have to eat it. If my husband wasn’t a fan of this recipe, I would use up the spinach in the chili.  He liked it, so I am going to have to use it another way, maybe with scrambled eggs.

THM Wicked White Chili Recipe

I made it in a pot on the stove.  I used white kidney beans as I could not find the beans the recipe calls for.  I halved the measurements on the cumin and the chili powder.  I did not add any Greek yogurt.  I do not know where to get the chilies and tomatoes mixed, so I add mild chilies and extra stewed tomatoes.  I followed the rest of the recipe and it was delightful.

I go through phases.  Sometimes I try really hard to stay on plan, and other times I just make the wrong choice.  It is really all up to me, and if you read my story a few weeks ago, the monster has been louder again this week.  It wants fast food and junk food and all of the things that got me to the weight I am at today.  Sometimes I choose the wrong thing to eat because I am self-sabotaging my goals of a healthier lifestyle.  I have to keep fighting with myself, for myself.  I am the only one that can make those choices, and I really need to get serious about it.  Again.  It feels like a roller coaster at times, I am sometimes on track and doing well, and then the bottom falls out from under me and I stray from where I need to be going.

Right now, I can only imagine what it would be like to have lost the weight I need to lose.  I need to do it, for me, and for my health.  I need to keep reminding myself that I am worth the better choices and that I am worth the extra time and planning that prep cooking takes.  Otherwise, I will have to live with the consequences, and that is not how I want to be living my life.

Since I had the sinus infection, I have been needing to use my puffer a little more frequently.  I do find that it is hard to take a deep breath sometimes.  It has helped, and I am not using it on a daily, or even on a weekly basis, but sometimes I find my chest feeling tight, and I need to use it.  I guess that means I need to plan a real appointment with a doctor at the clinic.  I do not yet have a new family doctor.  I know it is important to get the appointment scheduled and go get it over with.  The anxiety is still making me hesitate, but I know, deep down, that I need to make the effort to take care of myself.  So the appointment needs to be scheduled, and then I need to go.  I think it is time for that lovely once a year check up, and that is not something anyone should skip.  If I let it go much longer I will need to get my prescriptions refilled, anyway.  So there is a reason to go soon, even if it is just for that.

I didn’t know how much negativity was creeping into my life.  I mean, I was so used to listening to the monster inside that I didn’t even realize that negative self-talk was happening.  I am trying to listen for the inner beauty talk.  It is very, very quiet.  I need to listen harder.  I know it is in there.  And it is crying to be let out of the cage the monster locked it in.  Writing that just broke my heart, a little.  Maybe the crack will be enough to let the inner beauty escape the cage, and find her voice.

#TrustYourGutThursday  #TYGT

Tishsplaining

pointing-finger-1922074_1920

It happened again.  I was in the car today, with my husband.  We were having a conversation, and I completely lost him.  And that is when it happened.  I discovered a new Tish-ism.  I had to Tishsplain how I connected the things we were discussing to my husband.  Unlike mansplaining, Tishsplaining is something only I can do.  It is not restricted to men or women, and it is never done in a condescending manner.

I am used to this concept, but it is nice to finally put a name to it.  Thanks to all of you mansplainers that planted the seed for this Tish-ism in my head.

So what were we talking about?

“Look.  It is summer now, and that cloud is saying piss on you as it is raining on us.”  My husband started this whole ball rolling with that sentence.

I mentioned an uncle’s name, and his father’s name, and my uncle’s grandmother also.  Well, that completely confused my husband.  He asked me the question I have been asked numerous times before, and likely will be asked millions more times in the future.

“How does this relate to the rain?”

The answer was quite simple.

“My uncle’s grandmother was known to point at people and say “Piss on you.” ”  Luckily, I never made her point that finger at me.  If I remember right, it was about losing at card games or bingo.

Now I have a name for that thing I have to do ALL THE TIME.

Tishsplaining.

Squeezing the Most out of Your Zumba Class

Accordion

The Zumba adventures continue even while there is no class for two weeks.  I have found another comparison between Zumba, my body, and a musical instrument.  First, though,  I want to take you back to my pre-Zumba university days.  Back to when I lived on campus and went out dancing quite often (who am I kidding, four nights a week) to party when I really should have been studying.  When I started university, moving away from home was a big deal, and I was in control of my life for the first time ever.  I made new friends and shared rooms with roommates.  One, in particular, comes to mind in relation to this story.  We were in different programs, and at times, there were personality conflicts.  It happens, and it is a part of growing up.

This roommate liked animals more than people and had a different taste in music than I did.  We would take turns playing our favourite music when we were in the room at the same time.  These days, that would not be a problem, because I am sure every Millenial out there has an MP3 Player of some sort with amazing headphones so the issue I ran into would not be a problem today like it was back then.  Yes, I am talking about playing music on a ghetto blaster, also known as a boom box.  Back then (yeah, I know this ages me some) we had cassette tapes, and CDs were still new.  It was a thing for us to play the music you liked for other people, and see if they liked it as much as you did.  Sometimes it was great.  Other times it was overplayed.  The worst was when you had to listen to someone else’s music that you hated because it was their turn to play their music.

Living with this roommate ALMOST ruined Bon Jovi for me.  She played it over and over and over.  My love for Bon Jovi returned after a few years, but it was iffy for quite some time.  When she decided to play a different band, I was open to hearing something new.  Oh boy, was that a short-lived bit of hope.  The other band she absolutely LOVED and wanted to play when she wasn’t playing Bon Jovi was a band called The Who.  I tolerated it the first time I listened to it, but it really wasn’t my cup of tea.

Miles and miles and miles and miles and miles still haunts me when I think of it. Twitch.  There was one song that I found amusing.  Squeeze Box.  It is a funny little song that has more than one meaning.  A Squeeze Box is another name for an accordion, but if you let your mind drift a little left of center, you know what the song could be referring to if you have any sort of a gutter based imagination.  Imagine my surprise when this song popped into my head in the middle of a Zumba class!

As of yet, we have not done Zumba to Weird Al Yankovic or any of his Polka Parties. (How much fun would THAT be)?  Weird Al is the accordion player that I listen to, and I really like his music.  I love the humour in his parodies, and the fun he inserts into my day if I am listening to his music.  I digress.  The Squeeze Box reference refers once again to my chest.

You see, I am rather curvy, and just as my hips sometimes get in the way of my bowling, my “girls” get in the way at Zumba.  I crack people up whenever I think this stuff up, because then I act on it, or tell someone the joke to see if it is funny.  A few weeks ago we were reaching in front with our arms.  Sometimes I feel like my arms are really too short, like T-Rex short.  So for the instructor to see, I pretended to extend my arms longer at my sides, and then cross them in front of my stomach like she was showing us to do, holding the upper parts of my arms straight down, and just bending them to reach to the front from my elbows.  I look really funny when I am flailing my arms like that.  She laughed.  She lost track of what she was doing for a minute.

Then, in another recent class, we were doing a move that involves crossing your arms in front of you while you make your legs wobbly and move your knees to touch each other, and back apart.  I know that might not be the best description, but if you think of the funny dance when you put your hands on your knees and move your legs like that and cross your hands back and forth, it is like that, except we are standing straight up, and you are crossing your arms in front of you.  So when we do this, I hold my arms straight out and cross them back and forth, but because I have short arms, the “girls” become my Squeeze Box, just like that song implies.  I shared my accordion thought and got the desired reaction from the Zumba Crew that heard me.  Another funny analogy brought to you by me, an old roommate, and Zumba.

As the summer time hits, and we are all working out in the heat, please remember to hydrate.  And when your Zumba instructor is encouraging you to show some fire in class, remember, it is about your dance moves, even if all you really feel like doing is putting out the fire with the Zumba move I am going to call the, “Stop, Drop, and Roll.”  If you decide that you NEED to try this out, and you want to deliver it with a bigger impact, throw in the T-Rex arms.  Hilarious, until you get the ambulance bill.

Oh, and by the way, my ghetto blaster is still working, as is my walkman.  Long live the mixed tapes and the local radio stations!  I am looking forward to my next trip to The Zumba Zone!

 

Weekend Warrior # 16

weekend-warrior

Weekend Warrior

Here I am in the middle of another busy weekend!  I have been pushing hard at the Spring Cleaning project, as the deadline looms in the ever shrinking distance.  I am getting help around here this weekend, and it had been thoroughly appreciated.  Currently, it is too hot to do much puttering, so I am taking a few minutes to stop and write before I go back to work.

I have also been eating ribs all weekend long.  It is the annual Ribfest here this weekend, so I have sampled and eaten rib meals all weekend long.  I am ready for my last rib supper of the event tonight.  I have enjoyed the dinners, but it will be good to get back on plan tomorrow and start working on my healthy eating again.

I am planning to do some more work in the Master bedroom after I write this.  If I can cool down.  We are saving towards getting a heat pump installed here, and that will provide a more economical source for heating and air conditioning our home.  I look forward to that very much, especially on days like today.

I slowed down a little this past week, but this weekend has been the start of the crunch to get the Spring Cleaning done before crossing the finish line.  I am going to start in the bedroom while the sun is out.  It will be hard to not just flop on the bed and nap until it cools down.  I have a deadline, and I intend to keep it.

This means I will be working at this place constantly until I have finished.  I am going to have to putter all week long.  There is no Zumba for a few weeks, so my plan is to house clean instead, with music.  This will keep me moving, and get my project worked on at the same time.  It might not be the same intensity level, but moving any way at all has been my motto since I started Zumba.  I will continue.

It is a lot to accomplish in the time I have left, but if I keep at it, it will get better and over time become a list of completed tasks rather than an overwhelming list of things to do.

I am going to end here for this week.  It is so windy outside that I have experienced a couple of power brownouts while writing.  I hope the power stays on so I can continue bouncing the house.  It is much harder to stay motivated without music.

As the Spring Cleaning comes to an end, I am going to be changing the focus of these stories in July.  I will still be writing about my weekend activities, and maintenance cleaning routines as I develop them.  I am also going to start writing about the second half of this year’s project, writing my book.  The gears are going to shift here soon, and there will be lots to write about as I start a new adventure!

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 16

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 16

My hormones have gone CRAZY! When I was sick my body got a little confused, and now that it is getting on track, I WANT CHOCOLATE!  Not the square or two of the 85% cocoa that is on plan, but regular, easy to find, totally bad for me chocolate.  I am fighting with myself a lot right now.  I know what I should do, and then there is what I want to do.  Sometimes, the want is more than average, and my brain makes it a need.  So this week I gave in a little.

I also made the lasagna last Sunday, and I have been eating a piece a day for lunch this week.  I needed suppers, and I have planned an adventure in my kitchen that happened yesterday…

I love making Chicken Bacon Ranch Casserole.  I don’t have any chicken breasts ready in the freezer to make it with.  So I poached some salmon pieces and made Salmon Bacon Ranch.  It turned out really good.  I swapped the chicken for salmon (poached in water with onion powder, dill and garlic) and made the recipe.  I doubled the dill, added spinach, and extra Miracle Whip and Plain Greek 0% fat yogurt.  I used extra old cheddar, and bacon bits.  I kept the parsley, cream cheese, garlic and pepper as per the recipe.

I was surprised at how good this turned out.  It is rich and heavy, but carb free.  I checked my sugars right after supper, and they were at 10.2.  For after eating, this is really close to normal range.  Considering that it was a Zumba night, and I had a juice box, a G2 and a snickers bar before supper, (I was hangry and dropping)  this is what I needed to see.  It means that I was correct about being low, and I didn’t do too much to overcompensate. YAY!

So what I am getting at this week is that sometimes, chocolate is a necessary evil.  More importantly, it is good to experiment in the kitchen with healthy recipes.  You might surprise yourself.

I am not going to have Zumba classes for a few weeks.  I am in charge of keeping the Zumba Crew motivated until class starts up again.  I have a few ideas, but I need to get the gumption up for me to work on it as I need to be active too, especially when classes are cancelled.  Dance off, anyone?

#TrustYourGutThursday  #TYGT

Weekend Warrior # 15

weekend-warrior

Weekend Warrior

Here we are at the end of another weekend.  I have been non-stop busy since the last edition, and am hoping things slow down (just a little) for the next few days.  I write this because I am feeling a little drained of energy.

Friday night was so long ago, I honestly don’t even remember what I did.  That is how busy the week was.  Saturday I slept in a little and got up to volunteer for the Boston Terrier Rescue Canada group. BTRC is run completely by volunteers, and they do whatever they can to raise funds.  I was working in a canteen at a local cat show.  The SPCA was hosting it and asked us if we would like to help out to split the profits between the two organizations.  The message went out late in the week, and I picked my time slot, and off I went.

Let me say, first of all, that I am really proud of myself for looking at all of that food, and ONLY buying an apple.  I paid for it and enjoyed it.  I ended up with pizza to take home, and it was supper.  It has been a while since I had to stand on my feet for a few hours.  Although I was glad to have a chair for a couple of necessary but short breaks, I managed OK.  I do have nerve pain in one leg and I have finally figured out that my hip flexors are the root cause.  If it comes down to it, I tough it out, but I can be in a lot of pain while I am doing so.

 

What does a person do when they go inside the Cat Show after the volunteering is done?  Well, if you are me, you look at EVERY cat you can see, and you buy new cute little socks with cats all over them.  I wanted the cute change purse too, but I am on a budget and that means I can’t always get everything I want.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

My new kitty cat socks!

I bought something practical.  I can always use more cute socks.

Today is Sunday.  I slept in later today, I needed it.  We had been invited to a friend’s house to play board games.  It was set as a potluck.  I decided to make His & Hers Lasagna.  His lasagna is traditional.  Mine is THM Lazy Lasagna.  No noodles and yes it has spinach.

 

He helped me with the prep and assembly.  I made some guacamole dip and we brought Nacho Scoops for that.  It was good.  The best part is that there are leftovers of the lasagnas and the guacamole.  So I have lunches prepped for the week right now!

We played Cards Against Humanity first.  After supper, we played Ticket To Ride, Europe.  It was a lot of fun, once we all knew what we were doing.  The board game looked like this when it was all over.

Ticket To Ride Europe Game

Ticket To Ride Europe Game

It was a busy weekend.  I didn’t get a lot of cleaning done, but we got the prep cooking started for the week.  That’s a wrap for this weekend!  What did you do?

Relay for Life 2017

Relay 2017 2

Relay for Life 2017. Tish & Matty

I attended Relay for Life to participate in the Zumba at Relay.  My Zumba instructor does this every year, and when I am able to attend extra Zumba classes to support her and to get me moving more, I go.  I actually met her at Relay several years ago.  I have come a long way with my Zumba since then, and I will be continuing to go to Zumba as long as I am able to go. I do what I can, and I am feeling the rewards of stress relief,  getting stronger and healthier.

So many people are affected by the ugliness of cancer in their lives.  Relay is a fundraiser to help find a cure for cancer, but for many people, it is more than that.  It is a chance to reflect on loved ones who have lost the battle.  It is a chance to support people you know that are fighting cancer.  It is also a chance to celebrate with those who have looked cancer in the eye and beat it.  Sometimes more than once.

Members of my family have had cancer.  It is something I have learned to live with while trying not to live in fear of it.  I have been spending some time with a good friend who is not going to win her fight with cancer.  It is hard to face as a friend, but it must be even harder to face as a person with terminal cancer.  It makes me sad to know that her time is limited and that her family and friends will feel this too.  It is hard, sometimes, to know what to do or say.  We are becoming better friends because of this terrible thing that is happening to her.  We were friends before, but it is important for me to make sure that I am available to spend time with her now, while she is still here and able to enjoy the company of our friendship.

I went to Relay and did Zumba there.  I did not participate in anything else.  My focus this year was to go and have a good workout.  I promised another friend that passed away that I would take care of myself, and although it wasn’t cancer that he died from, in going I am keeping my promise to him.  The first few classes I went to after he died broke my heart.  I cried.  I fought to finish the classes, and I am still keeping my promise to him every time I go.

Relay 2017 1

They found a Rebel who was unable to convince them of the health benefits of Zumba at Relay.

I didn’t see the Storm Troopers in the crowd this year.  They were at Relay, but I am guessing Darth Vader ordered them to not participate in Zumba.  There were a lot of people there. I saw some angel wings, costumes, masks, and a little girl in a princess dress.  When Zumba was over, there was a song still playing on the speakers.  We all stopped, and the little princess walked over to me and wanted me to hold her hands and keep dancing.  So I did.  I don’t know her story, if she was sick, or if she was there because of someone else.  I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter.  When a princess approaches you in a crowd full of people and wants to hold your hands and dance, well, you hold her hands and dance in a circle until she wants to stop.  I don’t know who she was, except that she was a princess for Relay.  I don’t know why she chose me in a crowd full of people, but she did, and I wasn’t prepared to walk away.  That is why I attend Zumba at Relay.  You never know what kind of memory you will take home with you, and it somehow makes you feel that even when it seems like the ugliness of cancer is at its scariest, if you are able to support a friend or hold the hands of a princess and share a dance, there is a glimmer of hope.  Be present in your life, and do good unto others while you are here.  Which left me with the message I am carrying in my heart.  Hope.

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Most of the pics are from my friend Matty.  There are two from Fredericton Relay For Life 2017 Facebook Page, all shared with permission.  Why do you Relay?

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

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Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Home page for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 15

Up to now, I have been sharing my story and the stories of others with their issues regarding weight.  That means if you are reading this week’s story, and have been since I started writing, you know that I am struggling.  Sometimes week to week other times day to day, but it could literally be bite to bite.  I wake up thinking about food.  I go to bed thinking about how tired I am or am not, and this is usually related to what I ate that day.  When I dream about food, it wakes me up to go test my blood sugar.  If it is OK, then it was just a dream.  Sometimes it is my body telling me that I need to get a glass of juice.

Today was no different than any other Wednesday.  I got up, went to work, went to Zumba, and then I came home.  Where I knew I had meat in the fridge, both cooked and ready to be cooked, but I could not bring myself to start making a healthy meal.  I wanted the easy way out.  I sent an SOS to my husband for fast food.  I was tired when I got home today.  Bone tired.  I decided that I would nap until he arrived home.

Sometimes it is the only way to accomplish everything that you need to do, taking the easy way.  But taking the easy way is not the healthy way to live.  I am living proof of that.  The easy way is not the path less travelled.  The easy way is the way to childhood obesity and the epidemic that I happen to be a statistic of, the Type 2 Diabetes crisis that is blowing up all over the world right now.  If you continually choose the easy meal, the easy snacks, the sugar, the preservatives, the chemicals and the toxins you will not live a healthy life.  It isn’t possible.  It’s called junk food for a reason.

What is the alternative? Hard work.  If you put in the time and effort into yourself, it will pay off.  It doesn’t matter if you stray from the path when life happens.  What matters is that you value yourself enough to go back to the path you have chosen to follow because you strive towards living a healthier lifestyle.  There are always going to be days when you are too tired to cook.  I have had days where I am so tired and hungry that I can’t even decide which restaurant I want to go to.  The main thing is that I don’t give up forever.  I keep trying.  I keep pushing myself to do better.  And I keep celebrating every little success along the way.

I cannot stress the importance of planning ahead and prep cooking enough.  If I had made that casserole last night, I would have had supper planned, and this helps me to make healthy choices.  Sometimes I am too busy.  I planned my lunch today but found I was very cold at work, so I bought soup and BBQ chips to give my circulation a little kick in the pants with some mild spices.  Would I do that again tomorrow?  Not unless I felt the exact same way I did today.  I am usually bundled up in layers at work, but there are limits to what I am able to wear and what they will allow me to wear to stay warm at my desk.  Today I was maxed out on layers, and still cold.  I did what I needed to do to adapt to the day.  It worked.  Tomorrow may be a different story, yesterday I found it a little cold, but tolerable.  Today I could not get warmed up.  This is a side effect of having thyroid disease, sometimes I am cold when I should be warm.

When I am out of ideas for lunch, I plan scrambled eggs and cheese.  I can cook it in the microwave, and I can eat vegetables with it.  I almost made that for lunch today, but I changed my mind and made good old PB&J on sprouted bread.  I am not the biggest fan of this sandwich, so I am using regular peanut butter.  I bought the kind that has no sugar,  which must be stored in the fridge.  It was left too long and dried out.  So for the few times that I make it, I am using regular peanut butter.  When I decide to make something that has a need for peanut butter that is on plan, I will buy more that is made with just peanuts and salt.  I use sugar-free jam.  The sprouted bread is on plan.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad, to quote a song by Meatloaf.  I ate my sandwich after Zumba class, to hold me over until the fast food was here to eat.

If you are struggling like me, then neither of us is alone.  It can be a solitary journey if you are hiding behind closed doors or sneaking around to feed the monster inside.  I am calling it what it is.  A monster that is obsessed with food, and thrives off of sugar.  It does not mean that I am a monster.  It does mean that I have to fight it. The harder I fight, the smaller it will be.  It will reflect on the outside what is happening on the inside.  And that is where the beauty hides.  The beauty that is inside all of us needs to be nurtured and loved.  It will flourish and bloom if we give it the attention that it deserves.  When this happens, you start to glow from the inside out, and the monster shrinks inside.  Just as the monster scares your inner beauty, the glow from that inner beauty outshines the monster if we let it.  As someone who loves to sparkle and shine, I am going to focus on that for the next week, and see where it takes me.

Trust Your Gut is my weekly series that I have decided to publish on Thursdays.  I think it is time to I gave it a hashtag of its own.  Help me to get the word out to other people that may need to read these stories and know that they are not alone.  Help me to reach out to other people that want to help by sharing their own stories.  All it takes is an idea to create something big that matters and can help people.  I am starting that now.
Together we can help people, just like you and me.

#TrustYourGutThursday and #TYGT