Tishsplaining

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It happened again.  I was in the car today, with my husband.  We were having a conversation, and I completely lost him.  And that is when it happened.  I discovered a new Tish-ism.  I had to Tishsplain how I connected the things we were discussing to my husband.  Unlike mansplaining, Tishsplaining is something only I can do.  It is not restricted to men or women, and it is never done in a condescending manner.

I am used to this concept, but it is nice to finally put a name to it.  Thanks to all of you mansplainers that planted the seed for this Tish-ism in my head.

So what were we talking about?

“Look.  It is summer now, and that cloud is saying piss on you as it is raining on us.”  My husband started this whole ball rolling with that sentence.

I mentioned an uncle’s name, and his father’s name, and my uncle’s grandmother also.  Well, that completely confused my husband.  He asked me the question I have been asked numerous times before, and likely will be asked millions more times in the future.

“How does this relate to the rain?”

The answer was quite simple.

“My uncle’s grandmother was known to point at people and say “Piss on you.” ”  Luckily, I never made her point that finger at me.  If I remember right, it was about losing at card games or bingo.

Now I have a name for that thing I have to do ALL THE TIME.

Tishsplaining.

The Three Finger Salute

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Today’s Tish-ism was inspired by bad drivers.  I have now used this salute 3 times, therefore I am calling it a thing.

I work in a mall.  One of the street exits for this mall opens out from the parking lot with a 3-way stop sign. The rules are, cars proceed after completing a stop in the order the cars stop in.  So if I stop first, I go next.  If all 3 stop signs have cars that have stopped at exactly the same time, they figure it out themselves.

Today was the third time someone jumped the line and took their turn before it was legally their turn to go.  It is this very action that has started my Three Finger Salute.  If you meet me at a 3-way stop sign, and I have stopped before you, and you go before you are supposed to, you will see a very pissed off driver, following you through her windshield and driver’s side window, with my 3 fingers being pointed at you.

So today, I used this gesture.  To the guy driving that red pick-up truck, You broke the rules of the road today.  The other person you cut off was also displaying an angry face when I drove by him.  There is no excuse for not waiting your turn.  I almost ran into your truck because it was LEGALLY my turn to proceed.

We are all familiar with flipping the bird, or giving someone the freeway salute, as it is also known.  This is where my title came from.  I encourage you all to express your road rage in this manner, when appropriate.  Like I said, now it is a thing.  At the very least it might confuse the offender, maybe even enough to figure out what just happened.  More people learning how to drive properly has to start somewhere.  This is where I am taking my stand.

Please note:  Learn how to properly use your blinking signals.  I DO know when and how to use my beeping horn.  Learn how to drive properly, and I won’t have to.

Margarita Moments

A Margarita is a cocktail made of tequila, lemon or lime juice, and triple sec typically served in a salt-rimmed glass.  margarita. (n.d.). Retrieved January 9th, 2017, from http://www.yourdictionary.com/margarita

Are you ready for another Tish-ism?  It is hilarious, breathtaking and involves tears; all at the same time.

When I had my first margarita several years ago, I was with friends.  We were out for supper, and then we were going to a social event.  We had plans to view anime at a local venue, with more friends.  So we had our meal, with a margarita.  If I remember correctly, we had the meal at a Mexican restaurant, hence the margarita with the meal.

About an hour later, we were in the lobby outside the theatre where the anime was being viewed.  A few of us were taking a break to socialize, as there were different episodes of different anime shows being played throughout the evening, so it was not uncommon for small groups of people to hang out in the lobby and chit chat while waiting for the next one to start.

There is no recollection of the exact thing that started what I was going to term my first margarita moment.  Something struck me funny.  Really funny.  I started laughing uncontrollably.  Then came the tears.  Hilarity ensued, as I continued the laughing fit and nobody else got the joke.  Which made me laugh even harder, to the point where I had to force myself to breathe because the laughing and crying had caused me to lose my breath.  Literally.

So the next time that happens to you, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.  Margarita moments can happen to anyone, at any time.  Plot twist: margaritas are optional.

Bouncing the House

I work Monday to Friday at my day job.  So like a lot of people, I am working for the weekend, and TGIF is in my vocabulary.  On the weekends, I try to relax.  I usually do some prep cooking for the upcoming week.  Also, I do the cleaning.  I am trying to get my house in order so that I can work on my projects.  It takes time, and to really make this work, I will need to make a schedule and stick to it.  A schedule is like a budget for me.  I can follow one, but I don’t always like it.  This is one of those things.  We all have to do things we don’t like.  Cleaning is one of mine.  I have no problem making messes, for productive reasons.  Cooking, crafting, whatever I have going on may have a side effect of making a mess.  I don’t go out of my way to be a messy person. And we have what we need to clean.  But the gumption is almost always lacking.

How do I plan to change this?  For starters, I have signed up for 2 challenges this year.  A deep cleaning challenge that runs for 15 weeks, and a daily challenge for smaller scale organizational tasks, in January. One of my resolutions was to finish them both, in 2017.  I am finding motivation by sharing the daily videos on my personal facebook wall, and also the other challenge has so many posts about other people’s progress that I can literally be lost in that thread for days without realizing it.  There are SO many beautiful homes out there, and the ideas people have in this group are AMAZING!  So there are two sources of inspiration for me.

To get in the zone for this, I used to listen to a radio station called The Bounce.  They have since changed their name, so I am not as big of a fan as I used to be.  I would crank up the tunes and go to work on the cleaning.  Hence the Tish-ism, “Bouncing the House”!  I would post regularly on my wall about how I was doing this, and a few of my friends have started calling it the same thing at their house.  Music keeps me up and moving.  It is a big deal in my life.  Yes, I write lyrics, but I enjoy music as often as I can, and as loud as I can.  It is such a good thing in my life.

I also listen to music to help with my moods.  When I am having a bad day,  listening  to angry music, lets me scream out my frustration through the lyrics and makes me come around.  If I am sad, again, I choose music to help lift me up above the clouds where I like to live.  I am an optimist, and I like to stay positive.

So the next thing I have to do today is start the week long kitchen cleaning project for my deep cleaning challenge.  It will be so rewarding to sit down ad write and not feel like I should be working on something else instead of what I want to, no need to do.  I need to write more.  I need to work on my crafts more.  I need to be more creative.  Setting this goal to get the house in order is a way for me to prepare to have the time to be creative, and not have the guilty feeling that I should really be doing other things.  That is a terrible loop I USED to get stuck in.  The result is always that NOTHING GETS DONE.  I am tired of not getting anything accomplished because of this.  So this is my year to give’er and be a huge success.  At least in my own mind.  Countdown to Bouncing my house in 3,2,1…GO!

What is a Brain Pretzel?

A brain pretzel is a term that came to mind one day when puzzling out a problem.  A pretzel is a twisted piece of dough, and the one above has some extra embellishments that suit this term even more.  It’s a description of that moment when you are thinking really hard about something, and your head tilts to the side, and one eye is squinted while the other one is wide open and that eyebrow is pointed straight up in the air.  It is what I imagine is happening to the brain on the inside when a person is struggling to figure out a conundrum.  The look of perplexity on the outside, with twists and knots forming on the inside as the puzzle gets solved.

That is what a brain pretzel is.  This was an introduction to one of many Tish-isms.  It’s not trending anywhere yet, but it could be a game changer.  If it catches on.  There will be more.  Always thinking…and full of surprises.