Trust Your Gut, Tish’s Story; Part 44

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 44

I have been doing okay with my food choices this week. Not perfect, but okay. I indulged in some chocolates and now they are gone. I bought chocolate ice cream, and haven’t gotten into it yet. When I did buy it, I looked really hard at the larger sized bucket, as it was less than a $2 cost difference between the one I ended up buying, and the larger one. I am fine with treats as long as they aren’t around all of the time. If they are, I make them disappear…and reappear in places like my chin! I want to learn to stop making the magic of this type from happening. It is a time for a new magic trick. And that different kind of chocolate that I have been craving.  Diamonds, darling, I am setting my sights on chocolate diamonds.

I have mentioned this to my husband but I don’t know how seriously he took my comments. I am aiming for a time about six months from now. I am going to set a goal, and if I make it by my birthday, I am going to get a reward that I can happily show off to the world. What better incentive can I make? Well, I will be needing to add to my collection once I get it started. I would rather collect diamonds than pounds, so it is a great thing to work for.

I haven’t set the goal yet. I want to be realistic. So let’s do the math. Ugh. 6 months. The average healthy weight loss goals have always been 2 pounds a week. 6 months have 4 weeks each. Multiply that by 2 pounds a week and you get 48. I am going to round it up to 50. So the goal I am setting for myself is realistic. I am undergoing a change in my day job starting next week, and I will be missing my Zumba for a while. In the winter, but I have a plan. As I am ALWAYS THINKING…

I have decided that I am going to workout at home. I know a few of the Zumba moves by heart for some of the songs.  I have a step here too, for exercise so I can mix it up. I may even start a third day of exercise a week. I want to say more than 3 days a week, but I am not going to push myself so hard that I just give up. That is not the way I want to approach this change in my schedule. I want to do what I can, on my own, and then when I do get back to Zumba, I will not be so far out of shape that I have to build myself up to where I am now in my fitness level. See, ALWAYS THINKING…

In the spring, I still want a dog. If it isn’t a chocolate lab, that is OK. I will love any dog we take home. A dog means I will have to take it for walks. Walks are good for me, but I do not want to go just because of me. If I have a dog, I will need to go, because the dog will be needing this to happen. More than once a day. I live in a trailer court, and it is well kept. It is a nice place to live, and lots of people have dogs here. I would have a regular route to walk a dog on twice a day, and I think that is a fantastic goal to work towards. I know, I have written about these things before, but I am still aiming for them.

What are your goals for living a healthier lifestyle in 2018?

#TrustYourGut

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Treasure Seeker Tuesday # 12

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

Hello Treasure Seekers! Here we are for another meeting where I think, then I write; so you can read, and maybe then you think too! Not too hard, I hope. It is good to think about things, but if you are Always Thinking…like I am, it can be exhausting. Want to know a secret? It is also exhilarating.

I am building a website. You know that if you follow this blog. I am writing a book. You know that also for the same reason. I have more than one book in me to write, and that is something that I am happy about. In the music world, there are one hit wonders. I want to be a best selling author, and that means I have to write more than one book. I don’t expect to hit it out of the park with my first book, but a girl can dream.

So what holds people back from taking the leap of faith into the exhilarating world of chasing your dreams and chasing their passion? I have been thinking about that a lot, lately. I have been dragging my feet about my website launch. I am struggling with the importance of it. I want to change it, but not too much. There needs to be a bit of familiarity to make people want to take the leap with me, and that requires a foundation built on trust. I am working hard to put myself out there so that when I make the leap, there is a landing pad to aim for.  Since I am writing about this in the Treasure Seekers category, I need a map and a big letter X to the destination.

I have been working on this website in my mind for months. I know what I want to do, and now that NaNoWriMo is over, it is time for me to take action on it. I do have time this weekend, but me, really, building my own website?  I never learned how to do anything like this before? What if nobody ever goes to it? What if nobody ever buys any books from my website? What if it fails?

The fear of the what ifs can be paralyzing.  If you are too scared to try, then you have already failed. What is the alternative, then?

To take action. To stop thinking and start doing. I don’t always have all of the answers, but I have never been too afraid to ask questions. More importantly, the end result is worth asking questions for. I am working on all of this with an end goal in mind. Although like a resume, a website is never going to be sufficient to be left alone when it is done. Inevitably there will need to be changes and updates. If it is left the same for too long, it runs the risk of losing its zest.  That is one of the reasons that I have decided to move this blog to my own website.

It is a risk. It is scary. It involves a fair bit of work, which I am not scared of, itself. I am more worried about getting stuck in the middle and not being ready to launch on New Year’s Day. That is the goal I have set for myself, and with that in mind, I have time, if I get working on it right away.

The other thing I see people sharing online is the fear of being seen as an imposter. I am an author. I am writing constantly, several times a week if not every day. I had to build up my stamina as a writer. I needed to test the waters (make a splash) with the blog to see if it was something that I would keep working on, instead of something I just wanted to play with and drop when I got bored. I am still writing here, so I passed the first test I gave myself. I pushed to learn new things. I am taking courses online. I am not spending a lot of money on this passion, yet. I will need to work on a business plan. That means I have to take another course (YAY! #HAPPYWRITING has a course for me to learn how to do this) and I need to take the next step.  I need to research what I need to know about publishing options. In the middle of everything I have going on right now, I also have to write my book. Then I will literally switch gears and write another book. The second book will be going in a completely different direction. I have a concept already. It is another one I NEED to write. I am hoping to get the first two books out of my system so that I can prove that I can write a book, and start preparing to make the fantasy trilogy a reality, not just a dream.

When I publish my first book, and sell just one copy, I will no longer be working towards the passion of becoming an author. Of course, I want to sell more than one copy of my book. One is a good place to start. Then we will see what happens. Until that day comes, I will keep working on writing and building my website. If I am doing instead of thinking about what to do, it takes the fear and the imposter syndrome right out of the equation. That is something to work for. When I am a best selling author, and I believe that I will be one, I can start tackling other dreams. Chocolate diamonds are a part of that dream…

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

 

 

Trust Your Gut, Tish’s Story; Part 43

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 43

43, just like me! Sometimes, when I look at the number of the story I am writing, I just have to shake my head. I am still coming up with ideas, so I am still going to keep writing. Sometimes the stories are short, and other times I ramble on a little long, but there is usually a point or a lesson, or a laugh somewhere in it, right?

This story starts with my Zodiac sign. I was born in July, and that makes my sign Cancer, the Crab. It aligns with my fascination for water. I don’t like that it is called cancer, but I didn’t name it. I just live with it, and try to navigate life with all the knowledge I can gather. I have friends that believe in many different things, and that is fine by me. I don’t necessarily believe everything I read about the sign I am under, but it is fun to read my horoscopes once in a while.

Why am I writing about this? Well, I got to thinking this week that I have that sign, and years ago when I met my husband, I told him that I had a wall. To protect me from the rest of the world. It took time to build up the trust to let him in, to where my heart is. I have no regrets, we are still very much a united front in marriage, and he is my bull. His sign is Taurus. We are a good fit for each other.

I was thinking like I ALWAYS do, and I thought that the crab has a shell, like the metaphorical wall I used to keep around myself for protection. So in a way, the two are the same. But what does the shell do for the crab?

It keeps it from getting hurt. It keeps other animals from having crab legs for lunch. The world can be cruel and harsh, and the fear of being eaten alive, either literally for the crab, or metaphorically for me, is a real fear.

I have spent a lot of time keeping things to myself, over the years. When I started the blog, I also started putting myself out there. I write about how I am feeling, what I am doing, and whatever else I happen to think up.

The protective shell, physically, for a morbidly obese person, is fat. Layers and layers of fat. It doesn’t deflect every mean word or thing that it encounters. But if you are quiet, and try to stay under the radar, by just being a blob in the corner, you can minimize the number of attacks that you could encounter by hiding within it. It is almost like jello, but not everything bounces off the surface like it would after the jello is set.

My layers of fat are set. I have had them for years. I have hidden inside them for the majority of my life. It is not healthy, but it is the comfort that I know.

I know it isn’t easy to be a morbidly obese person. I know it might surprise you that I go to Zumba twice a week, every week that I can. I know it would be easier to just not care and eat my way into an early grave.

Do you hear that? It is a teeny, tiny little version of myself that is squeaking to get out. It wants to be free and to be healthy. It wants me to do the work, and be proud of myself for every little bit of progress that I make. I went to Zumba twice this week, even though my seasonal depression (which is not officially diagnosed) is starting to kick me into hibernation mode. It is cold outside. I might fall down, again. I am almost recovered from falling a week and a half ago. I got back up. I was bruised, but not broken. I am tougher than I look. Which was pretty bad about a week ago. I don’t want to go into the land of ice and snow at all, anymore. I am scared to fall down.

I got back up. Every morning that I fight my way out of dreamland and my warm bed to face a new day is just the same thing for me. It is a struggle, but I do it, every day.

One day I won’t be able to. I used to worry about that day a lot more than I do now. I am proud of what I have done, and I am setting some goals for the upcoming year. I have started cooking healthier food again. I am trying, and then I am doing the things that I need to do.

The easy way is lazy, cowardly, and hidden under layers of morbidly obese fat. I am tired of hiding. It is time to let my inner glow have a turn at making me shine for all the world to see. I am going to work harder on myself than I ever have before, in 2018. There are things I want to accomplish before my time is done, and I am determined (stubborn) enough to fight to get them done.

#TrustYourGut

 

 

 

Weekend Warrior # 43

weekend-warrior

Weekend Warrior

Well, another weekend is coming to a close, and I have hibernated for as much of it as I could. Winter is here, and it has been cold outside. Sleeping in was on my list, and I can say that it happened indeed. I woke with no alarm clocks being set for 2 days in a row. It was glorious. My favourite thing about the weekend is sleeping in. Sometimes I have to get up and go do things, but not this weekend. I stayed home and did things here instead.

Friday night I didn’t even go get the car. I came home after a day of Christmas Cheer at work. I had to decorate my pod for Christmas, and I did it up right!

Christmas 2017 at work

I don’t know why the pic is squished, and I had to add a little bit of graphics to hide the photo bomber. 😀 The wall on the left had a lot more Christmas balls hanging before I was done. My taller Santa is on the top right, and there were 2 gingerbread people behind where my head was by the time I had finished. I had fun, and I am hoping that my efforts earned me a prize.

I had to pack it all up at the end of the day and brought it all home. I have just encouraged Roy to clear a space for the Christmas tree and village in the living room. Since it is a small tree, I will set it all up in the little spot I had him clear. I will share pics of that next weekend after I have time to set it all up. There is just the two of us, so no need to make a big production. I do want to set it up, though. Tis the Christmas Season, and I am wanting to take a pic with it after it is all done.

Saturday was spent working on Social Media. I am working on building my author profile, as you know if you are reading my blog, and I came across a post by a friend asking about what word I would want to use to define my 2018. I thought about it, and 2017 was worthy of 2 words. Learning and Challenges. As I thought about it, really not that long at all, a word came right to the forefront of my mind that I wanted it to be. I then turned it into a graphic and made it my cover pic on my wall.

SUCCESS twitter

Also this weekend, I have set goals for working on my website, done 2 completely different profile pics in preparation for my Author Headshot, and also for my Blog. I am launching the monthly Makeup Monday category tomorrow. I will not be posting there every week, I have 3 weekly posts now, and if I add too much more I will not have any time to write my books! I can say that I am steeping the GGMS I wrote about making on Thursday, in Trust Your Gut and that I have 3 types of chicken cooking in my oven as I write this. Last week was more of a ground beef week, this week it is all about the chicken!

I will be sharing more about my word choice for 2018 in Treasure Seeker Tuesday this week. Which means the one I wrote for this week is now scheduled for Boxing day. What? I actually have a Tuesday already drafted for 2 weeks in the future AND I know what I want to write about this week? I think I might actually be getting a handle on this blogging thing. I would love to get ahead enough that I don’t sweat missing the deadlines anymore. But, as I have said before and will again, progress is progress.

I did not go out into the cold and snow this weekend, but my Ambivert Personality has to be balanced somehow. I found out this past week that when I do the personality type quizzes, that I am sometimes an Extrovert, and other times an Introvert. That tells me I am a little of both, which is called an Ambivert. I like being social, and outgoing, but not all of the time. Sometimes I need a weekend or two to just be at home relaxing. I can do either when I want to, but I also equally enjoy both activities.

Do you have a Defining Word picked out for 2018 yet? If you do, please share it below, and keep it in mind for Tuesday. If you are up for a challenge, I have an idea that you can participate in if you want to try an experiment with me.

#WeekendWarrior

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #10

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

Double Digits. Do you remember when you turned 10 years old? I remember that it seemed like a big deal at the time. I had lived through my first decade. I never had any real big parties for my birthday, it was in the summer, and I lived outside of town. I remember the day I found out in grade one that my phone number was long distance and nobody wanted my phone number to call me.  That broke my little six year old heart. I didn’t understand what it even meant at the time, except that none of my new friends wanted to call me because of my phone number.

I am still feeling a bit out of the loop in the modern world. My household budget does not have room in it for a cell phone. I don’t NEED it to survive, I am getting along just fine without it. However, I work in the industry, and it is hard to not want to be connected in the land of text messaging as it happens, literally all around me every day.

I don’t want just a cell phone when I finally get the go-ahead from my hubby to get one. He manages our household budget, and I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can make plans for purchasing things like the next pet we bring home, 2 cell phones, attending an event that I really want to go to, my next bottle of wine, and a second car. For now, we make ends meet, and we work hard to get what we can within our budget.

One of the most important features for me when I finally do get a cell phone will be to get one with a really good camera. I use Pixabay and Canva as resources in most of my blog pictures. The picture above was actually taken by me with my Olympus 2.8 x Optical Zoom 5.0 Megapixel camera. I try to get good quality pictures with it, but sometimes they are a little out of focus because I am not a photographer. I will need a camera that is so advanced that it makes me appear to be a good photographer so that I can feel more confident about sharing my own pictures here and on my website. I am still working on that project in the midst of everything else, and I have a lot of the planning done in my head, just not executed on the internet. It will happen. I am going to plan a launch for it, and I hope that all of my current followers here will follow me and the blog to my website.

The other thing a cell phone is going to need for me to consider purchasing it is an ease of transferring the pictures for storage on my computer. I need the phone and computer to be able to work together. As I have a PC, I am guessing I may have to go with an android phone. I do know that there are many opinions out there about cell phones, and I would love to find out more information on which ones have the best cameras, work well for listening to music, and are easy to get to talk to my computer. It also needs to be reliable and wants to be easy to use. I have not yet owned a smartphone, and I am impatiently waiting for the day that I get to share my digits with my friends and family.  It would be useful for blogging in my spare time, too, or checking out how the blog looks on a smaller screen.

With the recent change in Canadian Laws regarding unlocking cell phones, I am less restricted by what phone I can get, as I can use it with any Canadian carrier, including the company I work for; if I decide to go with that company. I am not as concerned with what provider I choose as I am about the camera. So I pose the question here: What cell phone would you be getting if this was your decision, with these requirements in mind? I know there are some people out there that are fiercely brand loyal, and that is OK, but if you only buy one type of phone, it may be harder for you to be objective in answering this question.

Double digits. Phone numbers. Megapixels. Optical Zoom. It all goes back to numbers. Which I am not all that crazy about. I am passionate about writing, and in the Blogging world, a good quality picture can mean the difference between someone choosing to stop and read your article or not. Blogging is something I am still fairly new at, but I know it is something that I enjoy. I will keep working with the tools I have until I can purchase something better. So, I ask you, Treasure Seekers, what would you be spending your gold on if you were in my shoes?

Treasure Seeker Tuesday # 9

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

Here we are again for another Treasure Seeker Tuesday. How are we this week? I have launched my December Beaded Snowflake Contest on Facebook with a live video.

Here is the link, I have it on my own, personal Facebook wall. It is where I am most active on my own and my author social platform.
Treasure Seeker Beaded Snowflake Contest Video

I have never shared a video on my Blog before…let’s cross our fingers that it works.

The information for the contest is in the written part, with links. It was fun. I like videos, they are usually short for me, and I just wing them.  Usually.

In #Momentum18 #Week2 #Day4 the challenge was to write a blog post about the challenge. I think it is supposed to be about this current week, but my mind is still lingering on last week’s challenge.

What I learned about myself is nothing new. At least, not to me. I wanted to launch something for my blog. It was an idea I had, and I wanted to try something different. I have been thinking about it for almost 2 weeks now.  Do you want to know what I learned?

I have to go back to the drawing board. You see, I am quite determined (stubborn) and I am not ready to give up on the idea of what I want to do. This idea, however good it sounded at the time, will have to wait.

I need to prepare to launch my own website. It was in limbo during November while I was writing :
A NaNoWriMo Novel by Tish Mac Webber white

Yes, that is the draft of a cover for my first book. There is a story behind the picture, of course, and it will be in the book. So that is something that I am working on, but have to put aside for the website building. (Thanks to my friend Noa Price for help with this cover picture and design advice).

This book was never even supposed to be written. I wasn’t going to do NaNoWriMo. I have learned that when an idea strikes, and it is a good idea, especially in terms of writing, that I should just write it. I am in the middle of writing the first draft of this book and will be continuing to write it after I launch the website. Unless my brain has other ideas that I am not currently aware of.

That is what is the most important thing to me right now, launching my website, not a checklist. I have been brainstorming and thinking about how to use a different theme to make it the same, but different, and to make it better than the WordPress website that hosts my Blog right now. I am not working it to my fullest potential, here, and I need to get out of the brainstorming process and put the ideas into action. Like that book I am writing. I can put it aside, for a month, and really spend every spare second into getting that website finished so I can have a place to promote and sell this book when it is ready.

I have to prioritize what I need to do first, or nothing will get done. I did work on writing the book in November. I prioritized that as my main project for November. In December, I need to make a beaded snowflake for the contest prize, maintain consistency on the blog, and get the website ready and launched.

When I launch the website, I will be gathering information on how to also launch a newsletter by Tish MacWebber. When that is ready, I will have a launch for that to get it up and running. I hope that the Treasure Seekers will all sign up. I expect it will be starting with a monthly publication, at least until I get the feel for what I want to do with it.

What are you working on in December? Do you like the book cover I designed with the help of my friend? Are you ready to move along with me to bigger and better things? I hope so because when I decide to get something done, nothing stands in my way.

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #7

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

I did some soul searching this past week. I am looking to find a way to support myself through my creativity. It is not going to happen overnight. I am writing books, and I make beaded jewellery, and I am trying to stay focused.

I have been trying to figure out how to put all the pieces together, and to get ahead. It is an ambitious goal, to be able to support myself by living out my dreams. I am working hard but wanted to explore another what if.

I considered looking into becoming a graphic designer. I am learning so much and challenging myself. I am building a website. For a split second, I wavered. I thought about how much easier it would be for me to tackle a project like that if I learned how to do things properly. If I had the knowledge, it would be easier, and I could advance my own website and launch a career with my own website being my social proof. It would be the best way to start a career.

I thought about it. Really, really thought about it. Hard.

I came to a conclusion. I do not need to branch off in another direction. I have found my passion and the best creative outlet. I need to write. I want to keep doing beadwork, but I need to write. I have been on this journey for a year, now. I have written consistently on the Blog, and I am aiming higher. I want to be a full time writer. I need to write, it is what I am supposed to do.

It is not the easiest decision because it is not going to happen overnight. It is going to take more hard work and dedication. It will try my patience and have challenges. Building a website has already presented me with a roadblock, that I put up myself. I had to sit with it, and sleep on it, and think about it. I have plans, and they will be tackled next month. This month I am writing.

Going in a different direction now would be a disaster. I have found something that feels right to me. It is a dream I had put away for so long that I almost forgot about it. When I started this Blog a year ago, it was to see if it was something I could stick to. Often I have taken on projects and put them aside. I have not stopped writing here, in fact, I have added more to it in this category. I am doing it. Writing consistently. Posting three times a week. Building on what I started a year ago, and proving to myself that it wasn’t another hobby. This is it. My calling. I am so glad that I took a chance and started something new. I am still being contacted by people for advice on how to start their own blog. I can only offer advice and honesty in return for the inquiries. I do know that if I can do it, anybody can. It may not be something that everyone enjoys doing like I do. It may not be someone else’s passion. But it is possible. I am not an expert, but I am having fun, and I still want to keep doing this. When you find out what you are really good at, you will know. If something else catches your attention, think about it, and make a decision. I know that I need to focus on what I need to do and stop being distracted by other choices. This is something I learned in the past year. I look forward to writing and sharing more of this journey here, on the Blog, and seeing where the next year takes me. It is going to see my Blog move to my website. That is something I am not ready for today, but I have the groundwork started and will be focusing on a new launch date, to be announced before it is officially moved.

Until then, I am writing a book for NaNoWriMo, and having a lot of fun with it. Writing in the different points of view of the cats I used to have has been a real trip down memory lane. Oops, did I just let the cat out of the bag? Yes, I am writing a book about cat stories, written as if they are telling the stories. At this point, every single word is breaking a record for the most words I have written with a book as the final goal. That is something that I am holding on to, whether or not I finish the 50,000 word count goal this month. I am going to do my best to pull it off by the end of the month. I still have time. I am also thinking about my fantasy trilogy, and writing notes to myself as they pop into my brain.

I am doing what I can to chase my dreams and catch them so I can make them a reality in my life. What are you dreaming about doing? What is stopping you from trying something to help you find your passion? I am Always Thinking…so if there is something that you want to say out loud to someone, that you want to put into writing, reach out to me, and I will help you if I can. I am finding something else that surprised me about this journey. People want to reach out, and ask advice. I may not know all of the answers, but I can tell you that if you are scared to ask questions, I’m not. I will ask for you if I don’t know the answer to your questions myself. It is something that I am known for. It is how I learn. The other big lesson I learned is to never give up. Being stubborn, it is a hard thing for me to do, to give up. Sometimes, it takes distance to reevaluate the problem, and then try it from another angle. Which I am working on right now in my book writing goals and my website building project. It will happen. It may take more than one attempt, but I have faith in myself that I will succeed. If you want to do something that makes your heart sing, be realistic in your expectations, and go for it. I am, and I am so happy that I took a chance on something that makes me happy. I want the same for all of you. If I can help, I will. All you have to do is ask. 🙂

#TreasureSeekerTuesday

Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

trust-your-gut

Trust Your Gut is a series of stories about real people with weight issues, and complications arising from those issues.  It will explain what the person is facing, what their options are, what they have decided to do to take action, and why they chose the path they are on.  Each person’s story will be based on truth, so it won’t all be happy, but it will be real.  The goal of this series is to get people talking about options that are available for people who have weight issues, on either end of the scale.  If you would like to contribute to this series, there is a contact form linked on my Homepage for this blog.  I know there are people out there that want to help people like them; as I do.

 

The names here may or may not reflect the person’s real name.  If someone wants to remain unknown, we will choose a different name for that person’s story.  The goal is to help people, and anonymity is a valid personal choice for contributors.  I will use a person’s name only if they give permission to do so.

This week I am pleased to share another of my own stories.

Here is  Trust Your Gut: Tish’s Story; Part 36

Well, I have good news, and bad news this week.  I went to the Doctor. Not because I was sick, but rather because it was time for a checkup.  I met my new doctor. Finally.  If first impressions are worth anything, I knew in the first minute I found myself a good one.  She seemed meticulous and genuinely wanted to get an idea for my plans in relation to my overall health before my checkup.  I needed to find a doctor that I could trust, again. My last doctor was good, but I think this one is going to be great.

The bad news is that I got weighed.  I am not at the all-time high from before, but I certainly am not in as good a shape as I have been in the past.  I am not following the plan, and I am visibly showing that to the world.

What is wrong with me? Why do I eat things that are bad for me? Why can’t I just lose weight and eat whatever I want to eat, like skinny people do?

I have health issues.  I have reasons, and I know that realistically, it didn’t add up overnight, so it will not be removed overnight, either.  I know in my mind that junk food is bad for me, and healthy food can taste good. But sometimes I pick the lazy way. Other times I self-sabotage. There are times when I just make up excuses and choose to believe them, even though I know they are lies.  Chocolate and the monster have been prominent in the last few months.

I don’t know how long I am going to be in this slump. I do know that the number on the scale made me take notice.  It is a real number, one I can’t pretend isn’t an issue anymore by refusing to weigh myself. Avoidance is not a valid option when it comes to Diabetes.  I know that. I am having difficulties in other parts of my life, and something is holding me back from being the best version of myself.

Sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb out of a slump and rise up to your next level.  Whatever I am going through in my personal life, I can’t eat it away.  I have to face it and deal with it. Head on.

That is not an easy thing to do. It is not an easy thing to think about, let alone to write about, to share with people. But it is going to help me break free and move forward.

Change is hard. I have been pushing my limits with my writing and my blog while keeping a day job and running on coffee.  I have been out of the multivitamins for a few months, now, and I plan to buy some again asap. They do help.

I got the doctor to change one of my prescriptions.  One of the side effects of the other medication was drowsiness, and I was having a hard time with it.  I know that I am a night owl, but I used to be OK with keeping up with my current schedule. I am starting to not do as well as before.

Maybe that was me tapping into the mystical energy people talk about having when they lose weight.  I have gone in the wrong direction on the scale, again, and that is definitely a factor. Being heavier means it is harder to do everything because you weigh more. It doesn’t mean I am going to stop and give up.

I need to do some soul searching, and find a reason to get things back on track.  I know I felt better, had more energy, and was happier.  But if things are not Ok on the inside, and I am spending some of the precious energy I do have in keeping up the appearance of being happy for the world to see, then I need to get to the root of the problem, so I can find a solution.

It isn’t easy, but it is necessary to propel me into my next level. The fear of wondering how bad my weight has become is not holding anything over my head anymore. I know what it is, and I know how it happened.  Now I have to find out why, so I can take the next step to working on my goals.  I have to keep telling myself that I am worth the effort, that I matter, and that it is important to make my health a priority.  It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.  Time to deep dive into my issues and make some changes.

#TrustYourGut

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Special Halloween Edition

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

Happy Halloween Treasure Seekers!  I am writing at the end of my day.  I got up and put on my costume and makeup.  I came home and handed out treats.  It is so much fun to open the door in costume and see the reactions of the kids, and even some parents.  I got a few compliments and was swarmed by a mob of little,  costumed people as they didn’t want to miss out on their treats.  It was not scary, most of that crowd was under 5 years old.  Their parents had a small bit of panic that they were being rude, but I am from a small rural community (this is a hint about my trilogy-the location-not a real place, but a familiar one) and we used to go into people’s homes for our treats when we were kids.  It was how things used to be, in a small, rural community.

Halloween is full of fun, adventure and maybe a scare or two.  Some costumes are scary.  Some are fun!  I like the creative ones, and one boy liked my costume.  He was wearing all black, and used glow-sticks to decorate himself, had them as glasses and different parts of his outfit.  I returned the sentiment.  Being dressed as a leopard, I was more tired tonight than I have been in other years.  I know this because when the kid in the Scream mask asked, “Whassup?” My reply was a cranky sounding “Me-yow.”  I listened to music, asked preferences of chips or cheesies, and ate the bag of microwave popcorn I got at work today so I didn’t get too hungry before supper.

Before I washed my face, I made a short facebook live video to say hello to people and show that my makeup lasted for the whole day.  I was glad to be able to wash my face.  I never noticed how many times a day I wanted to scratch my nose before. LOL.  Then I made some sandwiches, and I am preparing to go to bed.  On the Eve of NaNoWriMo.

I am going to be writing a book in November, with a lot of other people.  I am going to need to edit after because I don’t think slamming 50,000 words in 30 days will be the kind of writing that is ready for publishing.  I do want to write 1,667 or more words every day in November to win and get to the 50,000 word goal for the month.  I have tried before, but I have not won.  This year, I have the inspiration generated from thinking about the loss of a friend, who regularly participated in NaNoWriMo.  She will be featured.  I was originally going to write the whole book about her, but it is less pressure and research if I write about what I know.  So the concept has its origins but has evolved.  That is how I roll.

This week I am writing about writing.  I am preparing to embark on a journey to test my skills in a new format with goals and ideas.  As I wrote this I had to stop and make a note.  The thoughts are percolating.  The ideas are coming out in bits and pieces.  This year I am going to win!

I have also made an arbitrary decision that November is MY month.  It is the month when I get things together, make changes, try new things, and move forward in my life.  It happened last year, and although I am not launching my new website yet, I am getting ready to do it.  A year ago I started blogging.  This year I am writing books, and building a website.  ME!  By myself, with coaching and guidance from friends I know or have met on this journey.

What are you going to try this November?  Let’s make it a winning month together.  I told you what I am doing.  How can I help you?  Let me know below. Have a great week!

 

 

Treasure Seeker Tuesday #3

tish hedge square lobster

Treasure Seeker Tuesday: Photo by Tish MacWebber; Photo Edited by Noa Price

Here we are at story number three.  Three cheers to you and me for sticking with this new category.  Let’s take a little walk down a winding trail together and look a little closer at the significance of the number three.

I am the oldest of three girls in my family.  We now live in three different provinces.  We chose three different paths for education and careers.  But the source of our connection remains the same.  Our family is important to all of us, and we come together in times of need, and for reminiscing while making new memories.  Time spent together is now a rare thing, and it is something I treasure dearly.

Bling | Blog | Books
Three areas of focus for my new website adventure.  I wanted to keep some of my creativity outside of writing as a way to have a link to my other talents.  Creativity is my passion, and I am always working on many projects at the same time. This is nothing new for me.  I pick things up and put them down.  Sometimes I get to a certain threshold and can no longer set the project aside.  It could be a deadline, or just knowing that I am on a roll and near completion of my project.  At this point, the world outside of my creative bubble does not exist.  I become very focused and push myself to finish whatever I am working on.  Then I proudly share what I have made.  Sometimes it is for sale. Other times it is a gift.  Very rarely is it something for myself.

Trilogy

I have a goal as an author to write a fantasy trilogy.  My favourite thing to read.  There is a beginning, a middle and an end to them.  Sometimes they expand into a new trilogy or a series instead of only trilogies. Since I am a devoted reader of the fantasy trilogy genre, it makes perfect sense that I want to write my own.  I have started writing book one.  There are more than three characters in this trilogy, although the main characters may end up being numbered in a group of three.  They will all have a part to add to the stories, and I am happy to be finally making progress in that area.

Nature

Sun, sand and the ocean.  Another trilogy of sorts that plays a huge role in my life.  My favourite place in the world is on a beach so it would make sense that I am centering my trilogy in a place where the beach is easy to find.  I have spent hours upon hours just walking beaches.  It is something that I love to do, and can never grow tired of.  The ocean is something I will always be drawn back to for inspiration, clearing my mind, and a sense of peacefulness.

Common Thread

All of these things are important to me in following my dreams.  My family, my goals, my favourite place to be, they are all a part of what I will use to help me write.  You will see them appear in my books, blog, and maybe in my jewellery too.  Inspiration can strike at any time, and I am telling my stories and creating treasures in my journey.  Thank you for reading, and for walking with me.

#TreasureSeekerTuesday